As a democratic nation we are a little over 200 years old. Our political system is based on the core principles of freedom of religious and political expression for all its’ citizens; especially if you are white and Christian, as these principles did however not seem to apply to the indigenous population, or immigrants from darker skinned nations that populated our country.

These early Christian principles are embedded in the tenets and foundation of our culture. which has only served to foster the hypocrisy of justice for all that we still find today in our society.

These principles helped to create a strong, prosperous fledgling nation that was composed of the intrepid explorers who discovered our nation, those persecuted for political and religious beliefs in Europe, as well as deported lawbreakers, convicts, and a plethora of the old world’s “unwanted.” Together the created the United States of America in 1776. Five years later E. pluribus unum, which is Latin for “Out of many, one” became our nation’s first motto.

The U.S. population achieved its biggest growth in history during the 1950s, going from 150 million in 1950 to 180 million in 1960 – as post WWII newly married young couples were actively starting the baby boom generation. Churches and schools were being greatly expanded to accommodate the growing population, and organized religion was in its heyday. On a typical Sunday morning almost half of all Americans were attending church – the highest percentage in U.S. history where nationwide church membership grew at a faster rate than the population.

The baby boomers born and raised in that era are now for the most part retired and watching our social security payments come in as we watch our nation falling apart.  What happened to the great experiment? Why is it failing? 

We seemed to have lost sight of our forefathers’ vision that is gilded within the preamble to our Constitution.

When did our democracy start to fail?

I believe it began in earnest when our country began importing its labor force with stolen citizens of other countries while at the same time trying to convert or exterminate the indigenous peoples of our first nation. That was the beginning of our country’s downfall and when the fight to save democracy truly began. Our forefathers intended to ensure freedom and rights for every American citizen whatever their country of origin they had emigrated from. The affluent and successful antebellum society of our southern states capitalized on the cheap labor force, political control, and their exclusive religious doctrines, all of which included the subjection of its nonwhite and heathen domestic citizens.

Organized religion flourished in the 1950s. Before the advent of WWII organized religion was much more restricted and exclusive in its memberships. The 2^nd world war exposed many Americans to new religious thought from the soldiers who travel overseas to the influx of the dispossessed and refugees from war torn Europe. These fledgling new citizens brought with them their culture, their language, their rituals and religion and the browning of America began.

This boom in religious expression slowly created deep social chasms between white Christian believers and adherents of any alternative non-Christian deity.  A “high” vs. “low” mentality became mainstream in America. Catholic vs. Protestant, liberal vs. conservative, Republican vs. Democrat, capitalism vs. communism, hawk vs. dove, bull vs bear, free vs. slave; white vs. brown. Diametrically opposed positions in a country of united states that maintains, fosters, and perpetuates a political system based on the collective of conservative white male Christians that have the upper hand; seemingly a conundrum in our constitution that states all men are created equal.

  “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

                                                                                   ― George Orwell, Animal Farm

In our country’s early years, we witnessed the scourging and almost complete genocide of our first nation peoples; the rest were forced to become Christians.

We witnessed and encouraged the subjugation and slavery of all darked skinned people for profit, privilege, and power. Black males were given the right to vote in 1870, much earlier than even white Christian women who did not get the vote until 1920.  The freedom to vote was unfortunately only lip service on paper for black Americans, as intimidation in most cases prevented them from doing so. It was not until a 100 years later did the civil rights act of 1964 and the 14^th amendment provide a formidable expansion of the American black vote that could influence political policy and elections. This is changing America; the expression of the dream that our forefathers had, and one that Martin Luther King reinforced and died for.

The vote is integral to our democracy, we must trust it, or we are lost as a nation. The overriding vote of the populous is the will of the people. Every 4 years it is our elections that continue to hone the skills and successes of young democracy becoming.

The first democracy in the world is 2,500 years old. Our democracy is just 221 years old; we are a mere toddler in governing a country. We only continue to hone our success as a working democracy from the voice of its citizens in the spirit of their resilience to be able to adapt to a changing world.  We turn to our bill of rights, our constitution, and its amendments to this purpose; we have promises to keep. That defines America.

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.”

                                                   -Robert Frost

Unfortunately, with the greed, elitism, selfish pursuits, ignorance and strong held religious beliefs held by the lion’s share of Americans it furthers the divide between our American citizens. A divide over race, religion, human rights, and political ideologies as well the attainment of keeping of wealth, which happens on both sides of the political aisle.

We are seeing an increase in the voracity and exclusivism rising for the some 20% of Christians who identify as evangelical. They seemed to have joined forces with the legions of disgruntled gun wielding, non- mask wearing, confederate flag waving, conspiracy creating miscreants, rebellion bent so called patriots of our society who want a white, protestant America back at any cost. 

Together they both seem to agree with the tenet that no women or people of color, Jew, or Muslim should hold any office or garner their respect. Women must also follow the orders of her husband as scripture dictates and obey his commands. Make America great again; bring back 1955 when white was right, women stayed home, communists were blacklisted, gays were ridiculed & beaten, and minorities knew their place or else.

Unfortunately, the experiment with the MAGA rebellion has almost destroyed our republic and crippled our world reputation as a working democracy. Where did we go wrong? Why is this happening now? Why this specific time in our country?

Why?

Because of Donald Trump.  

Donald Trump became our President on a whim.

He was told by his early sycophants for many years that he should run for president. It eventually sunk in and the thought inflated his insatiable ego. With the huge success and popularity of his television show and financial resources, he said what the heck. He campaigned and to the shock of the nation and won the election… and became our 45^th POTUS. Nothing has ever been the same since. His ego went into irreversible hyper drive with a needy populous hungry for a hero.

He carefully picked his Vice President, a former Catholic turned evangelical, and peppered his cabinet with many right-wing Christians. He newly professed Jesus as his personal savior and created a Presidential Evangelical Advisory board. He started his playbook in Christian doctrine for ensuring his 2^nd term as president. He used the Christian radical right who was hungry for the return of a white Christian nation. They also believe that he is an instrument or vessel of God for a divine purpose for our country. Some believe his presidency predicates the 2^nd coming of Jesus Christ. In scholarly works it is known as Parousia, the end time prophecy and return of Messiah as foretold in Revelations Daniel 9, the 70th week.

There are many signs and the opening Seals as outlined in Revelations that predicate the return of Jesus. Many of these can be perceived to have happened that only bolsters confidence and radicalize devotees to anticipate what Christians have been waiting 2000 years for; rapture where good Christians are taken up to heaven and good Christian souls who have died will be reunited with their bodies for eternity.

There are many other signs in revelations, too many to list here but Trump is creating an illusion of fulfilling prophecy to gain favor with that large base of Christian voters. They want to believe that Jesus is coming back by 2021 and that Trump is a necessary evil for that to happen. They will stand firm and may even give their lives if necessary, to allow prophecy to be fulfilled at any cost. Coupled with many very real celestial and planet disturbances this past year which only serves to enforce their belief that prophecy is being fulfilled.

When an angry Christian mob stormed the capital on January 6th because of President Trump’s words and encouragement he became responsible. Some believe that he is “the abomination that causes desolation” that predicates the return of the messiah as foretold in revelations. The dawning of Parousia, the end time.

With Covid deaths surging around the world, it seems to be becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy as written in Daniel 9 that 1/3 of the world’s population will die, signaling Parousia. This can even make the hardcore cynic pause. This playbook was written long ago and not the first attempt to fulfill or interpret prophecy for personal gain, nor will it be the last. You must give the great manipulator credit; he knows what he is doing.

We must not be complacent, evil does not go away, it secrets itself in the hearts of discontent, avarice and illusion that still roils unabated across this nation. The disgruntled devotees of this insidious Pied Piper are enervated by fear and loathing. The defeat of their leader will only serve to bolster the indignation they now feel in losing the election. Like wolves they will retreat to their den to lick the wounds of defeat and foster more dreams of rebellion and sedition with renewed focus. Its difficult, sometimes impossible to hinge that which has become unhinged; when patterned neurons of dark selfish desires takes control, it creates an intemperate, unyielding partisan of hate and anger that can turn to an unfettered and unabated rage.

Despite the list of immoral, inept, insular, insipid, insecure, irascible, idiotic, indecent, insulting, insurrectionary, illusionary, insecure, insane, indignant, irritating, illegitimate and inexhaustible list of expressions to describe the golden calf that they have created from the own fear and insecurity they will not yield to the truth that they are being duped. Their bigger than life demigod has them hook, line and stinker; they will stand firm.   

The wolves had entered the city and were driven back. They cloister now in the backwoods, bowling alleys, biker bars, gun clubs, church basements and rabbit holes. They are supported by rogue Messianic churches who delve into the dark web of conspiracy, Armageddon, prophecy, and numerology. Their drums of discontent will be continued to be heard across the underbelly of our nation for a long time to come. Disgruntled, disenfranchised, uneducated, unhappy, the angry and the ignorant will be crying with bile fed revengeance for a rematch or more rebellion. They will double down on their ignorance and their embroiled bigotry. They will continue to drink the Kool-Aid and share their pablum of discontent as anarchists for antiestablishmentarianism. The orcs and trolls of our society will gather and prepare to implement plan “B”; they have not given up, they are recruiting. We still need to be diligent, there is no vaccine for this virus.

However, there is a silver lining. The serendipity within the uncivil war of our political system during this last election is the awakening of the real silent majority “the complacent”. The silent centrist, the fence sitter, the apolitical, the non-wave maker, the complier, the nonvoter, the trusting naïve, and the convivial proletariat that had the quiet and comfort of their non-conviction shaken to its core. The collateral blessing of Trump’s tenure is that he has awakened the true silent majority to the fact that their prosperity, happiness, freedom, and vision for their children’s future depends on every one of our votes, it cannot be taken for granted.

Complacency is not an option for a working democracy, it is its nemesis and a political cancer. We can NEVER get this close to insurrection again. Engage with our elect. They are our representatives and our voice. Vote.

Is it possible that I may be too fortunate in life?  I am not rich by any stretch, but I have worked hard and saved a little.  I just do not understand what is so bad about this country from the MAGA perspective?  What is so bad? What is so intolerable in their lives that they are so ANGRY? Angry enough for murder, insurrection, loss of relationships with family and friends, as well as a very real threat of federal prison? 

If the economy is so bad, jobs are so scarce, and conditions so awful how can protesters afford to fly across the country, buy expensive guns and stocks of ammo?  How can they buy expensive motorcycles, ATV’s, boats, jet skis, RV’s, and monster trucks?  They enjoy their pit bulls & gun ranges, long beards & beer bongs, pipe bombs & potato guns, splat ball & cockfights, ass kicking & strip clubs, cross burning, & lynching, name calling, mayhem, madness, and murder. They can have long hair with red necks, sport mullets in leisure suits, they come in skinheads, jarheads, and talking heads, they smoke pot and drink moonshine, gray haired men dressed in gray suits, and peace officers who wear a hood. Demographically they are primarily white Christian, poorly educated lower middle-class male bullies who fueled by their own Freudian anatomical deficiencies attempt to stimulate the expression of testosterone with bravado and aggression. 

A particularly unstable, volatile, and unsavory group of individuals who are all hungry for a scapegoat, a whipping boy and convenient pariah to be dealt with. To be able to express their bravado, defeat their self-hatred/self-doubt they must muster up their testosterone to steroidal levels so high that it activates the limbic system, and their lizard brain responds and activates accordingly with eat or be eaten.  So many little boys in a big man’s body is frightening.

Then we have the evangelical religious right.  Literal interpretation of the bible is their strength, following its dictates as written is their shield and portion be; they are on fire for Jesus; on fire to save others and on fire to prepare for the rapture. They will do almost anything to prepare the way and be ready for the 2nd coming.

Then we have the political right that is losing their identity, their political panache and respect. They are losing many long-standing historical positions held in the annals of our government since its inception. The vestiges of antebellum reconstructionism morphed underground with seeds of discontent and continue to foment to this day ideologies of a white America with its age-old traditional values and Christian ideals. This has created a plethora of hate groups that are united by the internet; gaining more support as the browning of America continues.

Trump supporters and loyalists can come from any of these groups and the election has brought them all together to drink from the same well. They are not a cult with blind allegiance to all the rules as outlined by their leader. There are no rules, he is no leader, only their image of a hero. That is his secret. He adopts their grievances, their religious beliefs, their vision for America and makes it his own.  Blind with hope and hatred they do not see his cunning and he becomes their God’s chosen one and leader of their dreams; nothing can convince them otherwise.

The great experiment known as America is evolving with time to become an amalgamation of the world, a microcosm of the macrocosm of the inhabitants of this planet. The United States is more ethnically diverse than anywhere else in the world and growing more so every day.  Many underprivileged/poorly educated white protestant males, as well as some Harvard and West Point graduates still want the America that their Daddy’s held so dear. A country of white privilege. They are still holding on to the notion that white male superiority is the only salvo for this country; it is a man’s world, run by men, good Christian white men. To think otherwise is unpatriotic. 

With the election of a black president in the white house the embers of discontent began to rekindle with earnest in the backwoods of our nation. Jim Crow again was enervated by scores of knuckle draggers who were gobsmacked with unbelief, fear, and anger that we had a black president.  He threw down his barrel of cheeseballs, inserted a large pinch of Copenhagen into his angered mouth, turned on his computer and sent a mass email to all his black hearted constituents with a cc to old Scratch; It has begun. 

Obama finally leaves office. God forbid we get another minority in his place, a Jew, a gay liberal or worse yet a woman for president. The plan to install the great white hope ensued and the progeny of the good old boys of our political system found a willing ego-filled pathological narcissist who took the bait. Tell me what you want, and I will become that leader. Beyond all rational odds and a naive/complacent voting populace in America he won the election as 45^th POTUS and the spiral to insurrection began.

This was the beginnings of a renewed helter skelter that was ignited and fomented by prejudice and the embedded racial superiority in our country. Their poison is robustly infiltrating our populace that a deep state exists with a dark and decadent and Godless agenda that is threatening to destroy our country. This belief is touted by many cadres of white discontented “patriots” in this country as well as extreme evangelical messianic cults.  Together the form a bizarre amalgamation of alternate realities and unalterable thinking These two groups together synergize their hate and envy that combines into a force to be reckoned with. They have heavily infiltrated the Republican party into the unrecognizable grand old party that we see today.

In four years with the Trump administration, a portion of our society has degraded into a society of freelance hooligans fanned and agitated to aggression by their great white hope who promises to make America white again. With the threat of having a cookie cutter Catholic career politician as president, coupled with the potential for a woman as VP (who is black no less), their peter principle of tolerance reached the end of its rope for many far-right supporters.

Their only other choice for president was a radical right Marxist leaning aging Jewish man who had great ideas, but was just a little too old, a lot too left, and little too Jewish; an intelligent and well-respected man but a throw away vote the centrist and the NeverTrumper. The perfect storm was brewing for a rebellion in our country, an unheard supposition in our modern America. They had to find a rube with an insatiable ego to take back the country and foment rebellion. They found the perfect and willing candidate in Donald J. Trump and he succeeded.

But I am sorry to to Jim Crow but America will never be a White America again; the horse is out of the barn with our expanding diversity. The pipe dreams of a resurrected dying confederacy coupled with evangelical visions of a rapture in our time ended when our 46^th President Joe Biden was inaugurated on January 20^th. There was no military coup d’état, no complete civil siege of the capital with the lynching of the vice president and speaker of the house with trials for treason that they had planned. No rapture for the faithful, no angry mobs clad in combat helmets and confederate flag capes of insurrection, no antithetical anarchists defending their right to be enslaved by ignorance attended the inauguration. It was a peaceful transition of power. Democracy prevailed where hyper hypocrisy failed. America continues triumphant.

The budding return of the grand old party of better days has been destroyed. These angry white men and their dutiful wives will still be angry and extremely disappointed that their dreams will never reach fruition. They will have to accept the truth that dixie is dead and Jim Crow is dying.  For the most part they are selfish Americans who do not want to share it with anyone who is not white. This is a bitter pill to swallow; to have their hopes destroyed that the South will not rise again, and Parousia has not begun.

Swallow the bitter pill they must, for our country will move forward into the future, more diverse and prosperous than ever before.  Although these antebellum vestiges of a failed counterculture of white superiority will be subdued and deflated, like lamprey and barnacles they will still cling to the underbelly of the nation far into the future.  Our country will continue to grow in diversity and their angry numbers will hopefully wane through attrition, education and through dilution of good character. 

Making no bones about it will take time. The troubles we see in this country right now with the insurrection of our capital is at its core a racial pogram of disenchanted melanin challenged extremists. They do not want to share their country with black and brown skinned people. Simple as that. It is not about politics, financial insecurity, religion, war, abortion, climate change, gun rights, the pandemic hoax or not wearing mask… or really even who is president. They will not be happy until white is right and black is put back. When we have daily Christian prayer back in school, the wall is completed, abortion clinics are closed, our borders our sealed off and school lunches will only serve pizza, burgers, fries and Diet Coke.

These insurrectionist slimeballs or even their politicos in a nice suit are putting a forever stain on the word Patriot for every proud citizen of our country. They have denigrated the once proud name of the Republican party that may take decades to recover from, and we need that party; we are both sides of the aisle.

Honesty and justice will prevail. Democracy allows for protest with our 1^st amendment, and our right to bear arms with our 2^nd amendment. However, it does not seem consistent with our constitution to exercise them simultaneously in a public gathering, federal office or used as a tool for intimidation and sedition.

They had their moment in the sun, their 5 minutes of fame and footprint of shame; this too shall pass.

I have faith that the American dream is not a dream, but that it is a reality. That reality was just confirmed at Noon EST on January 20^th. What we have just experienced for 4 years was just an awfully bad dream. Oftentime nightmares can indicate an internal disruption in our chi to initiate a different path to attain balance. This may be the cass here. The pendulum always swings with perpetual inertia both directions; it cannot be stopped or reversed. I am confident we are on a return to center.

I feel as though I have doffed a heavy rain-soaked woolen trench coat and I am standing next to Bon Jovi singing “here comes the sun” at the top of my lungs.  At long last the deluge has stopped, the clouds have lifted, and the nightmare is over; step out of dark, into the light and into the sun; E Pluribus Unum, out of many, we are one; thank God for 2021.

MC/1/22/21

2020 is Hindsight…Many people all over the world regardless of race, religion, culture, or country of origin celebrate in some fashion with a traditional ritual to bolster ourselves for another trip around the Sun. Last year on this day people all over the glove celebrated the ringing in of 2020 with hopes of a better tomorrow.  The previous year of 2019 with the mass shooting in El Paso Texas held the record for highest number of deaths from mass shootings ever. The country was still reeling from the massive carnage in the Parkland Florida school in 2018, the church shooting in Sutherland Springs Texas in 2017, and The Pulse nightclub massacre in Orlando in 2016.

We became to expect mass shootings and terrorist activity as the norm in our society and although 2020 was consumed with mounting deaths from Covid 19, there were no “large scale” mass shooting incidents. Despite a drop in mass shootings our country still reported a record number of deaths from domestic gun violence in 2020 with many of those deaths being racially motivated. With thousands of deaths still not recorded from the pandemic for the year 2020, it still takes the lead for all time American deaths in any one year, now soaring to over 3 over million Americans lives lost in one year; the highest annual recorded mortality rate in American history.  

In 2010 the US population was 309 million persons with a death toll of 2.5 million people, < .8 % of the population.

In 2019 the US population was 329 million persons with a death toll of 2.8 million people, about .8 % of the population.

In 2020 the US population was 331 million with a death toll of 3.2 million people, or about 1% of the population. This is an overall increase in U.S. annual mortality rates by .2 % which is over 500,000 death more a year; more total US deaths in one year then has ever been recorded.

We are now entering 2021 with a boat load of death, grief, anxiety, hope and trepidation. What were your hopes and dreams, bucket lists and resolutions for 2020 that never happened?  Over the past year our country has been torn apart by politics and a relentless pandemic.  A nation divided by extreme partisan polarity in politics and racial unrest. Many families torn apart and are damaged in numbers that we have not seen since the civil war. We are polarized as a nation at a time when we have never needed more unity.

Not only are deaths mounting from Covid 19 whether from the virus itself or from the deleterious effects of social isolation.  We as individuals, as a family, as a nation, as a world tenant are experiencing an unbalanced planet that is wreaking havoc in our lives worldwide. The planet is one massive organism, our atmosphere is one massive organism, humanity is one massive organism. We are now at critical mass of inadequately supporting our planet and life on earth, even the earth is rebelling. We are in peril.

You may remember in the classic movie “The Never-Ending Story” when no one believed in unity, imagination or compassion and the world could not maintain its critical mass and started to dissolve. People are dying across this country from fear, apathy, and ignorance in record numbers. It is not only the virus, but as the old aphorism states: people are giving up the ghost. Losing the will to live at a time when the planet has never been so angry and vociferous with its growing pains. Like many of its people even Mother Earth has had enough.

Let us put 2020 behind us like a bad mushroom trip and embrace 2021 with a proclamation of resilience, faith, love, and comradery. Let us reclaim our lives, our modified society, our beleaguered country, and our exhausted world.  When Pandora’s box was opened it unleashed death and pestilence which covered the globe. In the legend there was one only word left in the box after the balance of evil was unleashed on the world. The word was hope.

2020 is hindsight. Full steam ahead with hope for 2021.

I always wanted to be an artist.

Both of my grandparents were artists, my grandfather was a commercial artist who helped design the Land-O-Lakes Indian maiden logo. I knew as a kid I had a knack, as did my teachers who yelled at me consistently for doodling throughout all my years in school. After graduating High School, I attended my grandparent’s alma mater The Minneapolis College of Art and Design, who encouraged doodling. 😊

I got married young and did not finish art school, it was too expensive, and I had to get a real job to raise a family.  I set aside art as a hobby and continued with spontaneous creations with a variety of many mediums because I enjoyed it and it made great Christmas presents. Eventually I started to create pastel portraits for friends, mostly of their children and it became a sideline activity for cookie jar money.

We had our first child Kelly James in 1978, he died from cancer in 1987. The music stopped in my life, with no fuel for inspiration my creativity dried up for works of art; my muse took flight with my son. Then 10 years later September 5, 1997 my muse came back. Mother Teresa had died, it hit me hard, as she was my mentor for selfless service, kindness, compassion, and faith in the power of love and God’s grace. I knew I had to do a portrait of her but only in black & white with pencil and paper. Now 10 years out from the death of my son, I still could only see life in shades of gray, color was not even an option. I worked slowly and reverently in creating this portrait of my spiritual mentor and I still feel it is one of my best works of art, bottom line and it brought my muse back, it woke up the slumbering artist.

This was an important milestone of my grief journey and I started to create “memorial portraits” of children who had died. It also brought back my inner author and I found I could write again and began on my book “Letters to My Son, A Journey Through Grief” and published it 5 years later in 2002. It’s release, and later the release of the updated 2^nd edition Letters To My Son, Turning Loss to Legacy. It changed my life as my book traveled the world, as well as the many portraits that I sent around the country/world for bereaved parents  The book soon propelled me into speaking engagements with my grief model of Proactive Grieving® as delineated in my book. 

With my newfound grief ministry, I felt compelled to do portraits of the wretched, pain ridden faces of the bereaved that I served; sometimes all I had to do was look in the mirror. I soon felt driven to create a portrait of every emotion in grief and over a period of a year or so I had completed 20 different 18”x 24” pencil portraits. I decided to create a workshop that revolved around the images that they portrayed, and it became a huge success as far as efficacy in helping the bereaved identify the emotions that they were feeling. They soon discovered they were not crazy; it normalized their angst/anxiety with what they were feeling and that these emotions were in fact a natural structural component of the long-term bereavement process for the loss of child.

In 2010 I donated the original Faces of Grief to the Bobby Resciniti Healing Hearts foundation located in Coral Springs Florida. Bob Resciniti after the death of his son Bobby started a foundation for bereaved families and built “ Bobby’s Place” a place for healing and sanctuary for the bereaved families where they could go for no cost clinical counseling anytime the needed to. Little did we know how valuable Bobby’s Place would be for the community as it was located less than 2 miles for Marjorie Stoneman Douglas School in Parkland where the massacre of 26 victims occurred.

I have worked with this incredible foundation over 10 years and with their sponsorship have created close to a hundred memorial portraits for the bereaved. The creative arts are a powerful tool for recovery and resilience from loss and trauma; what is inside comes outside and shared. Together we heal. Reach out with your heart, reach out with your art.

MC

Prayers for California and Points West                                                    

I am a Californiaphile at heart.  It was on August 17th, 1987 that my wife, my children, and I joined hundreds of light carriers, first nation families, sage old hippies, renaissance fair artisans for a large gathering on top of Mount Shasta. The date was noted to be a day of global change toward peace and associated with a significant cosmological event as predicted in the Mayan calendar. Mount Shasta has always been a significant holy spot the even predates our Native Americans. Like Sedona Arizona, or Tulum Mexico it is known to have spiritual vortexes that have always existed.  Natural electromagnetic field junctures such as these are like mother earth’s acupuncture points across the planet. They are at the epicenter of a natural torus that emits a high frequency that can purportedly restore equilibrium and vitality at a subatomic level. Our bodies being 70% water resonates easily with subtle energies, just as like a glass of water emits surface ripples with a subtle earth tremor; resonance happens.

We were on Mount Shasta, others were on Mount Yunaska in Canada, Mount Fuji in Japan, and many other sacred places worldwide for the 1987 Harmonic convergence, a gathering of believers praying for world peace and healing for those who suffer. We needed a healing our 9-year-old son who was dying of cancer. We were then living temporarily in San Diego continuing with alternative treatments for our son and we hoped for a spiritual healing from the event on Mount Shasta.

We as a family participated in a healing circle where dozens of people surrounding us, holding connection with us, praying, meditating with a focused mindfulness for healing. We had been fighting cancer for almost two years, we had sold our home, our cars, and almost everything we had. Earlier we had a miracle healing in Mexico where the cancer disappeared, but now it was back with a vengeance to the point of no return.  I was on Mount Shasta for me, I was physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually exhausted, my dashboard went blank, my tank out of gas.  My son was dying, I was depleted I prayed for the energy to move back across the country to Minnesota where he could die at home with family. That is when it happened; I received my miracle.

We spread out Laying as a family on Navajo blankets and chanted with the native Americans that were all clad in their regalia participating in a sun dance. When they were through with the dance many came to surround us on our blankets.  We were placed laying prone on our backs in a wheel of conductivity, all four of us were head to head, hand to hand in a center circle. People gathered and placed their hands on our feet, legs hands and arms and all started chanting Om and we were to ask the grandfathers for healing.

I cannot vouch for what happened for my family during the circle prayer but something very profound happened to me, which was powerful, unimaginable, but lucidly real. I was hit with a bolt of energy that I could see, feel, and react to. My body tightened; my back arched my back in response like paddles from defibrillator, but it did not hurt. I felt warm, loved, caressed, and in the company of an angel I could not see. As quick as it happened, it was gone, I was still holding hands with my family and they said I had never moved an inch.

When I opened my eyes, I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz when she swung to door open from Kansas to colorful Oz…step out of dark, and into the light. Something clicked in my soul, I felt energized and abundant. We moved back to Minnesota; we rented a home for month where my son died. We had to rebuild our lives from the journey of fighting cancer, and now the journey to comprehend our loss.  Like Zeus throwing a lightning bolt an angel jump started my heart to be able to bury my son and rebuild our lives.    I wrote a poem shortly after the experience as it is hard to articulate the inexplicable.

August 17, 1987

The harmonic convergence was

a convergence for me and the world alike

It promoted good feeling and worldwide healing

As souls and nations did unite

With hearts and hands held together

The forces of love encircled the earth

Spheres collided in cosmic places

In the mystic between death and birth

A portal opened between our worlds

And I was hit with a divine shaft of light

That seemed to pool in my hands ‘

Like the full moon in the darkest of night

It was hot as fire, yet had no burn

Intensely bright but I could easily see

And I formed from this unearthly light

a scepter I know was meant for me

I raised the scepter above my head

And drove it deep within my heart

 Immediately I felt love course through my veins

And I sat up with a start

 The portal of light closed just as fast

And my surroundings returned all intact

My son was still lying next to me

And I know we had just made a pact

We are a team, one family

With a loving God who is on our side

and no matter what may happen now

we are going to let it ride

I will never forget God’s touch

When I was in so exhausted and in a slump

Sometimes our faith runs out of gas

 and we find God waiting at the pump.

33 years now have passed since that day on Mount Shasta when the hand of God touched my heart and we prayed for world peace. I still pray every day for world peace and keep my pact I had made that day. Tomorrow is August 17^th make a concerted effort to pray for country in such turmoil. Prayer is a very real and tangible energy which is measurable at a quantum level. Please Pray, make intentions; and vote, our country needs a healing.  

Personally, I believe that healing can only take place on November 3^rd.

When California gets a cold the whole country sneeze. This state is the bellwether of the country for weather, economy, fashion trends, technology, racial demographics, entertainment, and social change. Climate change is real but slow to heal, the damage to the stratosphere will take decades if not centuries to heal to better protect our troposphere which is in big time trauma. It can heal with proper stewardship, but for us old folks it’ already too late; we are screwed already; it won’t come back in our lifetime. We can although make a significant influence for our grandchildren either way, which way is up to us.

For someone to say with a firm resolve that we can fix the fire potentials in California by raking leaves in 33 million acres is beyond ludicrous and makes a mockery of intelligence and leadership ability. A president mocking someone with a handicap goes beyond the pale of understanding, A president who openly degrades women is disgusting. A president who thinks hate filled racists are good people is unimaginable. A president who writes love letters to dangerous fanatical, nuclear war driven dictator is just plain bat crap crazy. A president who states at the beginning of pandemic to the American people that it will magically go away, and that it’s a lesser threat than the common flu, when he was just informed it is much more deadly than the flu and will kill a million people globally by summer’s end. And here we are almost a million dead, nearing 200k in our own country. Please consider this when you cast your ballots this November. It is not about red or blue, it’s about decency and sanity; make America decent and sane again; vote your conscience, not your party line.

In every psychosocial trauma experienced in a relationship there is always a catalyst or trigger that begins a chain reaction of unfolding events that snowballs into hyperarousal and a three-ring circus of shame and blame, where trauma becomes drama.

Who, who …who let the dogs out?

Did Dorothy herself let her dog out, who then allegedly bit Elvira Gulch?  Did Auntie Emme, or Uncle Henry let Toto out while going out to get the mail? Was it one of the farmhands who neglected to close the gate? It is obvious that the inerrant innocent act created a cascade of life changing events for Dorothy and her family when Toto was loosed.

Who let Corona out of its cage?  Did he escape or was he let loose? Color me confused.  I believe in wearing masks, I also believe in herd immunity. I believe in vaccinations, but also starting to lose confidence in their efficacy and safety.  I believe in opening the beaches, the forests, parks, golf courses, but not large gatherings inside buildings.  I believe in freedom but also protective marshal law if necessary, to contain a pandemic.  I believe in generating and reading data and believe in a whistle blower’s dispute of that data also being valid. I believe in health professionals that I know that are standing on street corners saying to wear masks, I also believe in health professionals who say it may be over kill.

I believe in washing hands a lot; I do not believe in overuse of disinfectants that is killing our other natural immunities countless times a day. I believe in freedom of speech but not carrying weapons to a protest. I believe in the American flag, but not next to a swastika. I believe in intelligent unified compromise, but not derision and entitled violence.  I believe in natural phylogenetic adaptation; I also believe that viral DNA manipulation happens.  I believe humans are inherently good, I also believe humans make mistakes. I do not believe money is the root of all evil but do believe that greed is.

We as a human species share a common genetic inheritance that yearns for warm attachment. Our whole nervous system, the limbic system e.g. is always looking for connection; much as a dog does with its nose lifted to the wind.

Between everyone us on this planet there is this invisible synapse between the dyadic relationships that we carry with every human being that we encounter. From the moment we are born, we are given a template for relationship for our survival.  We crave human touch and face to face contact from inception; it is fundamental to our DNA; it is in our nature. There is so much communication that occurs below our conscious awareness, and it is this perception that for the most part is invisible to us all. It is this universal synapse that brings families, communities, fraternities, tribes and best friends together.

We already have primitive epigenetic coding in our brains to self-isolate to protect “our tribe” from animals, weather and marauders.  From the Neanderthal guarding his cave, to early American settlers holed up in a mountain cabin for the winter, to a COVID-19 grandmother holed up in a senior care facility for months on end. We have the genetic predisposition to handle isolation for periods of time, but an extended amount of time without human interaction we can indeed get cabin fever or stir crazy.  In simpler terms we get extremely restless in isolation which leads to anxiety and if left unabated it may lead to trauma, and even psychosis. The limbic system in hyperarousal may go into forays of violence and anger, or conversely a hypo-arousal response into a limbic system freeze; an autonomic shut down with apathy, numbness and depression.

What is obvious is that we are all hard wired with genetic tools of adaptation to survive under a plethora of assaults to our mind, body, soul and spirit. We are built to survive, and we shall survive if we do not fuck it up with arrogance, self-entitlement, ignorance and greed.

I believe in the capacity of the human body to defend itself if given the right tools and resources to boost its own innate immunological response.

I believe in the capacity of the human mind to research, investigate, experiment, learn and create.

I believe in the capacity of the human soul to think out the box and to make intelligent decisions for the good of the whole.

I believe in the capacity of the human spirit to attempt to conquer any obstacle in its path.

I believe in God that provides us with all the necessary tools for survival, procreation and joy.

So, who let Toto out? Who put the whole world into chaos?

Let us not consume our energies with conjecture, conspiracy, violence and lies to who let the virus out. The horse is out of the frigging barn. Let us combine our efforts and intellect to contain the ramifications this virus has unleashed upon the world.

I believe in the human spirit of the American people to come together beyond party lines to make America safe again.

What I do not believe is any statement from any politician from any party, or any representative of any pharmaceutical company.

Toto got out; this is not Kansas; we cannot pretend it is. We either comply with efforts to resist the spread and do our part to cooperate; we collaborate with naysayers that may encourage the spread, or do we join the resistance for truth, tolerance and a cure.

Follow you heart; be kind; take one day at a time.

I continue to believe in America body, mind, soul, and spirit.

“There’s no place like home”.

Heartlight Sour Dough Bread

This is the best recipe that I have found for making Sour Dough Bread. It is a method that I have developed over many years of much trial and error with ingredients, preparations etc. It is easy to bake a loaf a bread, a child with a Easybake oven can do that. To make Sourdough bread you rely on the artist in you to and why it is called artisan bread; it takes some time and effort, but you will be heartily rewarded. Sourdough does not mold, has a fantastic taste and delightful texture/crust, digested slowly and is tolerated well by gluten sensitives.

This bread is composed of three main ingredients flour, water and salt. You add a few 175-year-old bugs and you have a sourdough starter. There is no commercial yeast used in making this sourdough, it replicates a natural yeast called Candida milleri, and little baby microbes of bacterium called Lactobacillus sanfranciscensis that have survived since 1847.  Wagon trains heading west carried and created sour dough starter across the country for making bread on the road. In that process they picked up bacterium strains from all parts of the country. Yeasts that were born in the wild west from wild winds and wild grains from across this land that took refuge on the flour bags in the Conestoga wagons creating this unique starter kept alive since 1847.

The most important ingredient that I not listed in the recipe is love. This bread recipe is infused with love; Love is patient; love is kind; all by design. To make good sourdough it must have this ingredient. One must be a nurturer, someone who needs you and knead them. One needs to be patient with the process and committed to caring for and feeding your starter on a regular basis to keep it healthy and vital. You need to use some or discard some once a week and then feed it and refrigerate.  It still is active but slowed down. If it is in storage too long alcohol may form a thin layer on top, that means the bugs you need to be fed. The bugs eat simple sugars, they burp CO2 and shit alcohol; when swimming in their own shit, they stop burping… it is time shake it up, remove some and then feed.  I either bake bread, make sour dough muffins, dry it out to send to friends for starter. I do not like to discard.

A baker’s dozen tips:

1. Use unbleached “bread flour”, bread four has higher protein/gluten content
2. Use some natural whole wheat flour for beneficial fiber, (it helps move the mail)
3. Use a little Rye flour which helps to stimulate the starter
4. Use natural unrefined sea salt with beneficial minerals and add salt at later step, it slows down the bugs replication initially.
5. Use only un-chlorinated or bottled water or boil your water for 20 minutes, chlorine is bad mojo for bugs
6. Use your oven with the light on and place resting dough and or levain in oven to double, keeps it about 80 degrees and no draft or bugs.
7. Add some Potato flakes to the starter as friendly catalyst to encourage activity
8. Mist the bread with water just prior to baking
9. Preheated 500-degree oven
10. Bake in Cast Iron Dutch Oven
11. High Hydration water content (sticky dough); Dust with rice flour to prevent sticking to banneton
12. Sharp razor for scoring
13. Patience, it is a two-day process

METHOD:

1. Activate sourdough starter.
2. Autolyze: measure/weigh all ingredients (except salt) into a bowl. Mix well. Cover and rest dough for 2 hours.
3. Bulk ferment: Add salt. Stretch and fold dough (with damp hands) every 45-60 minutes for 2-4 hours at room temperature. Keep dough covered.
4. Pre-shape. Cover and rest the dough for 15 minutes on the bench.
5. Final shape. Put dough into a floured banneton (or floured, cloth-lined bowl/tin). Cover dough with cloth. Cover with plastic and retard (refrigerate) for 8-12 hours (optional).
6. If dough was refrigerated, bring to room temperature. Rise in banneton for 1-3 hours or until ready.
7. Pre-heat oven, baking tray and roasting lid (or ceramic casserole dish including lid) for 1 hour before baking (500°F).
8. Sprinkle the dough surface (base) with dusting flour. Turn out dough onto a sheet of baking paper. Spray lightly with water (if adding topping). Score bread. Spray lightly with water. Put bread in Dutch Oven with lid on. Bake at 500°F for 15 minutes (lid on).
9. Uncover and Bake at 450°F for 15-30 minutes (lid off) until golden and cooked.
10. Remove bread from the oven. Cool completely on a wire rack.
11. Slice bread and serve.
12. Store bread at room temperature (covered) or wrap and freeze (whole or sliced).

Detailed instructions

                                           Step 1. Making the Levain (starter sponge)

The night before you make the levain, make sure to feed your sourdough starter. I usually add 1/3 cup bread flour, dash of rye and 1/3 cup water and mix it well.

¼ cup (40 grams) bread flour

¼ cup or (40 grams) wholegrain wheat flour

¼ cup (40 grams) sourdough

1/3 cup (80 grams) unchlorinated water

Mix all ingredients and put it into a tall see-through glass. Put an elastic band around the glass or mark the jar so you can monitor the growth of the levain

Cover the glass and put the levain somewhere warm. Preferably 77°F (in oven with light on is perfect)

When the levain has almost tripled go to the next step.

          Autolyze ( hydrating flour)

3 ¾ cups (675 grams) bread flour

½ cup (150 grams) whole wheat flour

2 cups (575 grams) water (reserve 50 grams of water for adding salt later)

Instructions:

To do the autolyze all we need to do is mix water and flour

Measure out all the flour in a bowl and all the water except 50 grams that we reserve for mixing in the levain and salt later. Mix it but don’t knead, just get all flour hydrated

Cover the flour water mix and leave it until your levain has at least doubled in size.

Mix the dough

Put the levain on top of the dough. Spread the salt over the top and add the reserved 50 grams of water

Mix it all very thoroughly. I usually use my fingers and push the levain through the dough and do some light stretch and folds. I keep repeating until I feel like it’s been mixed very well

Cover the dough and leave it to rest 30 minutes somewhere warm

Bulk fermentation

It’s time for the bulk fermentation. During the fermentation we develop the doughs gluten and get air into the dough. With this dough 3 stretch and folds are usually enough

Wet your hands so that the dough doesn’t stick to your fingers

Grab the size of the dough furthest away from you with both hands. Grab a hold and stretch the dough upwards if it can go without breaking. Then fold the dough down towards yourself

Turn the bowl 180 degrees (a half turn)

Do another stretch and fold

Turn the bowl 90 degrees (a quarter turn)

Do another stretch and fold

Lastly you should turn the bowl 180 degrees (a half turn)

Repeat the last stretch and fold

You have now stretched and folded the dough from all four sides. Leave the dough to rest somewhere warm, covered, for another 30 minutes

Repeat this process two times more

After the third stretch and fold, I will do a windowpane test. Lift and edge of the dough and stretch it with your fingers. You should be able to make a thin membrane without the dough breaking. Look at the video in the article

If the dough still is not strong enough to pass the test, I do a 4th stretch and fold and repeat the test. Do this up to the 5th and 6th stretch and fold.

After the last stretch and fold you should leave the dough until it’s grown by 20-50% (usually 1½ hours)

Preshaping

First we are shaping the dough to build a gluten membrane on the top of the dough. This will help the oven spring during baking

Pour the dough unto an unfloured table and divide it in half. Put a sprinkle of flour on top of both

Grab a lump of dough and flip it using your bench scraper so that the floured side is now on the table top

Grab the part of the dough that us the furthest away from you. Stretch it and fold down in front of you

Repeat with the part that is right in front of you. Grab the dough with both hands and stretch it and fold it away from you. Repeat with the right and left sides of the dough

In a swift motion invite the dough so that the part you previously floured is now turned up

Put your bench scraper behind the dough and pull it towards yourself. I hold the scraper in my right hand and I guide the dough with my left. The front of the dough should be pulled underneath, and the top of the dough should tighten

Now put the scraper in front of the dough and push it forward while twisting, so that the scraper ends up behind the dough. You can now repeat the process in the previous step

Repeat until you have a nice round and taut boule (ball). Pop any big bubbles you see on the surface

Repeat with the other lump of dough. Let them rest 15 minutes under a cloth

Prepare the bannetons

Make a mixture of half bread flour and half rice flour

Put a dish towel in the bannetons. If you don’t have one, you can absolutely use a bowl with parchment paper.

Put some of the flour mixture in a strainer and flour the bannetons. It’s better to use too much than too little

Final shaping

We do the final shaping to make sure the dough is super strong

Take a boule and sprinkle it very lightly with flour on the top

Flip it using your bench scraper so that the floured side is against the table

Repeat the process from the preshaping

When you have finished the shaping, grab the boule with your scraper and invert it into the banneton. The bottom should be up

Repeat with the other boule and place it in the banneton

Sprinkle the dough liberally with rice flour and put the bannetons into separate bags. Make sure you get some air in there so that the plastic does not get into contact with the dough

Place in the fridge overnight

Heat the oven – next morning

Place Dutch oven in oven as well to get piping hot.. Turn the oven to 500°F. If it doesn’t go that high, put it to maximum. Heat the oven for at least an hour. We want the Dutch oven to be completely warmed through

Baking the bread

Take a banneton out of the fridge and let rest covered for a few hours on the counter

Put a piece of baking paper on top of your peel and put it on top of the banneton

Turn it over and carefully lift the banneton off the dough

Slash the dough using a super sharp knife or razor

Open the oven and move the dough to the Dutch oven

Spray the top of your dough lightly with your spray bottle

Put on the lid and close the oven

Bake for 15 minutes

Remove the lid so the bread can get some color. Turn the oven down to 450°F. I usually bake for another 20-25 minutes for this bread or until internal temp is 190°F. I love it when the crust gets dark and crunchy.

Remove the bread from the oven and let it cool on a wire rack until it is COMPLETELY cooled off.

Turn the oven back up to /500°F. When it is hot, repeat the procedure for the other bread.

Watch master breadmaker Sune at the Danish Bread Geek website:,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Znv99QbfWGs&t=222s

Origin of starter and instructions to activate:

http://www.carlsfriends.net

Pastel colors, daffodils, shiny new shoes, hats with yellow ribbons, hugs, hard boiled eggs and bunnies; hams in the oven and the songbirds are chirping love songs, it is Easter morning…but for some this year it is also an Easter mourning.

Easter is the U.S. is a major Judeo-Christian holiday that is celebrated by most Americans in a Hallmark Card kind of way as opposed to a deeply religious ceremony that some observe.  Regardless of your religious convictions Easter is treated as an unofficial national holiday when families get together for Sunday afternoon repast and relaxation. When families do get together sometimes there is an empty chair at the table and an empty heart in despair.

How do we survive a loss in our life and face the holidays with honesty and joy?  How do you prepare something delicious to eat for others, when everything tastes the same?   Food in general becomes meaningless for it represents sustenance when we do not want to sustain.  How do we make small talk when our soul is screaming inside?  How do we not cry when all we see and feel is the empty chair that no one else sees? For most everyone else all they see is a very large sleeping elephant, one that they dare not awake.

Let’s get serious, a kitchen, a living room or dining room is just no place for a sleeping elephant.  Who in their right mind would bring a creature like that into the house? I remember growing up on the farm with a variety of animals domestic and feral alike that would get into our house. My dad’s horse was his best friend and I will never forget when he brought Lucky into the kitchen when we had guests over for dinner. People move quickly with a large animal comes in the room; believe me and why this metaphor has such power.

In our continued despair we speak in frustration about the elephant in the room and why it’s there. We have to realize for the most part it is our elephant; we brought it here with us and people are just being polite not to mention it. It is up to us to lead it out of the room, ask others present for help in doing so. Literally ask them “can you please help me get this elephant out of the room?”  If it steps on a few toes on the way out… so be it.  Grief is not pain free; pass your pain around, share it. Wake up the elephant, and use it to carry you to a new place at an elephants pace, slowly one step at a time.  An elephant can also break down walls if they are in the way, use your elephant.

The timing of Easter is interesting as it is determined as the first Sunday following the last full moon (Paschal moon) of Passover which roughly coincides with the vernal equinox of March 20/21. Easter bespeaks of the resurrection of Christ in the Christian tradition, beginning of Passover in the Jewish tradition, and in most cultures is recognized astronomically as the first day of springtime and rebirth for the planet, when days get longer and the fields get greener. This cycle governs all living energy forms on the planet; we are all on a yearly cycle of death and rebirth.

Our calendar days without the rotation of the earth -meaningless; our calendar years without the earths’ rotation  around the sun -meaningless; our birth without our death -meaningless; love without loss -meaningless; extremes define each other, they need each other to exist. So we learn to dance between the extremes.

This Easter, this spring, look at each new lengthening day as an opportunity, a day to start a new year with hope.  I think most New Year’s resolutions are a sham and are built to fail from the start, they are made in the darkest time of our planetary cycle and we make resolutions based on hope not on faith.

If we are to make a resolution to bring new hope and healing into our life, let us coincide it with the natural flow and growth of the planet. Experience our own rebirth, our own renaissance, our own unique healing and personal growth as the planet comes alive.  I believe all resolutions should be made at this time of the year. This is our own fiscal year of the soul that starts at springtime and we can change our tomorrow with faith in an even brighter spring next year. It’s up to us.

We as a collective tribe will never forget the Easter that never was. Churches empty, no baked ham at Grandma’s house, or croquet in the yard, no main street parades, or mom’s hot buttered rolls made with love and lard. But we shall rise from this tomb that we find we ourselves in surely as Jesus did. We can become a casualty  from our great losses or become a springboard to an unknown, non-envisioned future of limitless potentialities. We have choices. Grief is a powerhouse of transformation, how and what it turns us into is up to us. Use your elephant if it’s in the room, a elephant can take you places. carry a lot of weight and it can travel a long distance at a slow pace. Be your elephant.

Peace love n light

Mitch Carmody

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Hope springs eternal in the human breast: Man never is, but always To be Blest.

-Alexander Pope